Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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