Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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