Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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