Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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