Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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