Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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