Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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