Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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