Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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