Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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