Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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