Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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