Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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