"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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