My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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