My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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