My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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