My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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