My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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