My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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