My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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