"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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