Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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