Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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