Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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