Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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