Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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