PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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