PMS jokes are not funny...

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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