Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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