Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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