Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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