Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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