So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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