So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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