So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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