So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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