So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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