So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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