Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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