Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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