That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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