The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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