The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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