The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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