The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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