The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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