The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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