The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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