The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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