The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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