The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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