The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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