The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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