There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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