There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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