There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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