There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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