There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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