There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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