There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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