There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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