There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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