There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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