They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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