They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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