They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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