They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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