They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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