They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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