They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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