They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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