This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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