This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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