This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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