Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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