Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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