Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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