Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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