Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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