Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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