Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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