Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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