Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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