Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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