Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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