Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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