Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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