Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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