Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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