What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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