What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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