What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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