What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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