What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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