What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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