What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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