What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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