What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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