What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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