What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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