What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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