What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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