What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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