What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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