What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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A seal walks into a club...
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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