What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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