What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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