What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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