What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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