What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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