What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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