What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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