What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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