What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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