What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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