What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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