What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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