What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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