What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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