What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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