What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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