What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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