What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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