What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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