What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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